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HER DIARY
Day night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.  Conversation wasn’t flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.  I asked him what was wrong - he said, “Nothing”. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving.  I can’t explain his behavior; I don’t know why he didn’t say, “I love u, too”. When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
He just sat there and watched TV; He seemed distant and absent.Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.  I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.  I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster……………………..

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HIS DIARY

Today India lost the cricket match against Bangladesh. DAMN IT.

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Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA  34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16.  After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time.  Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August.  I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

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******

God saw me hungry, he created pizza .

He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi .

He saw me in dark, he created light .

He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

******

Twinkle Twinkle little star

You should know what you are

And once you know what you are

Mental hospital is not so far.

******

The rain makes all things beautiful.

The grass and flowers too.

If rain makes all things beautiful

Why doesn’t it rain on you?

******

Roses are red, Violets are blue

Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.

Don’t feel so angry you will find me there too

Not in cage but laughing at you.

******

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One young man went for an IAS Interview.
“When did India get independence?” He was asked.
“The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947″ He replied.
“Who was responsible for our independence?”
“There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another. ” He replied.
“Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?”
“Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report” He replied.
The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others,
since they were planning to ask the same questions.
When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave him.
“At least tell me the answers” he pleaded, and our friend obliged.
Then it was the turn of this Santa. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him.”
By the way, what is your date of birth?”
He replied, ” The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947.”
Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification. “What is your fathers name?”
He replied, “There were so many. Whom to mention”. If I name one, it will be injustice to another”.
The interviewer was incensed.
” Hey! Are you mad or what?”
He replied. “Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report .”
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then
I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

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The greatest handicap - Fear

The best day - Today

Hardest thing to do - To begin

Easiest thing to do - Finding faults

Most useless asset - Pride

Most useful asset - Humility

Most disagreeable person - The complainer

Great need - Common sense

Meanest feeling - Regret at another’s success

Best gift - Forgiveness

The hardest & most painful to accept - Defeat

The greatest knowledge - Experience

The greatest thing - LOVE

The greatest success in the world - PEACE OF MIND

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When I Asked God for Strength
He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face

When I Asked God for Brain & Brown
He Gave Me Puzzles in Life to Solve

When I Asked God for Happiness
He Showed Me Some Unhappy People

When I Asked God for Wealth
He Showed Me How to Work Hard

When I Asked God for Favors
He Showed Me Opportunities to Work Hard

When I Asked God for Peace
He Showed Me How to Help Others

God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted
He Gave Me Everything I Needed

- Swami Vivekananda

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Aquafresh toothpaste ad.

Sugar free Lollipop..!!

Butter so soft, that a paper knife will serve the purpose.

The caption reads:
SAVE TREES, TREES SAVE
And the visual impact is quite stunning.

This is an ad for Pioneer car stereo. Seeing the image, you can
almost hear the blast of music.

The ad is for Sunsilk Shampoo. The copy reads - “For stronger hair”.
No comments!!

An ad for Western Union Money Transfer, targeted at the receivers.
Interesting play of words.

Fevicol is one brand that has a consistent message, and executed quite well.

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Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”

Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.

Ask, “Did you feel that?”

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay. Don’t panic, they open up again.”

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, “You’re one of THEM!” and back away slowly.

Grinning, stare at another passenger for a while, and then announce, “I have new socks on.”

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, “This is my personal space.”

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After having failed his exam in “Logistics and Organization”, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: “Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”

Professor: “Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”

Student: “Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an “A” for the exam.”

Professor: “Okay, it’s a deal. So what is the question?”

Student: “What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?”

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an “A”, as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question. He immediately answers: “Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife’s lover an “A”, although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical.”

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a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs 10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at Rs 10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs 20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs50.”

The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!!

Welcome to the “Stock” Market!

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